Sunday, September 16, 2012

Automatic Door Locks

We all have a car, or have at least been in a car, where when you hit a certain speed, generally 10-15 mph, the doors automatically lock. But why is that?

The claimed reason is "safety"citing that it's to prevent opening the doors while the car is in motion at higher speeds. But we all know that's bologna because we all have that friend who thinks it's funny to open the doors at 50 mph, and if you don't know which of your friends that is, then stop opening my car doors, you twat.

"Yeah, but what about child locks? That works!" To which I answer, yes, they do, they can also be turned off by opening the rear doors and flipping a little switch.... And to add to the woes they're the opposite of safe, in the event of a crash having the doors automatically locked was such a hastle for EMTs that the US had to instill a law saying that in the event of a crash the computers had to unlock all of the doors. SO WHY DO THEY EVEN EXIST?

You might be asking why I'm ranting (Hey, I'm not ranting) about the locking mechanisms on car doors. I'm not, I have a point and here it is:

It's for hobos. Or shady invididuals in general. Think about when you were a kid and automatic doors and electronic locks weren't a standard feature, driving through a "rough area" your parents would tell you to lock your door. You asked why, they said because they said so, and you did what you were told, only to put two and two together a few years later. Well these automatic doors take all of the hastle  and hasty, awkward reach-over-to-the-locks-so-no-hobo-sees-you-through-your-window locking motion away.

And so we pay $2000 for automatic doors, instead of giving the homeless guy selling newspapers one dollar.

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